BACK STAGE
QUOTES FROM WILL
Some quotes attributed to Will Rogers are falsely credited. If you want to verify a Will Rogers quote, contact the curator, Jennifer Holt, at jennifer.holt@history.ok.gov or 918-343-8124.
PRESIDENTS
This President business is a pretty thankless job. Washington or Lincoln either one didn’t get a statue till everybody was sure they was dead. – November 5, 1932
Men in America live, hope and die trying to become Presidents. If they can’t make it they accept the booby prize and go in the Senate. – October 16, 1932
[I]t’s a tough life, this thing of being President and trying to please everybody. (Well not exactly everybody but enough to re-elect.) – September 22, 1929
You know an awful lot of folks are predicting [the president’s] downfall, not only predicting but praying. – April 2, 1935
A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving a Senator somebody to call horse thief. – December 20, 1930
I can’t see any advantage of having one of your own Party in as President….I would rather be able to criticize a man than to have to apologize for him. – March 18, 1923
Coolidge is the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be let alone. – January 27, 1924
Of course, this is the time of year when a presidential candidate can be bought off mighty cheap. Catch him just when he is figuring out what his campaign literature will come to. – January 27, 1924
I don’t know of any quicker way in the world to be forgotten in this country than to be defeated for President. – July 6, 1924
I honestly believe there is people so excited over this election that they think the President has something to do with running this country. – October 31, 1932
The high office of the President of the United State has degenerated into two ordinarily fine men being goaded on by their political leeches into saying things that if they were in their right minds they wouldn’t think of saying. – November 2, 1932
We shouldn’t elect a President; we should elect a magician. - May 26, 1930
We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then go home and start daring ’em to make good. - April 1, 1935
If I was a President and wanted something I would claim I didn’t want it. For Congress has not given any President anything he wanted in the last 10 years. Be against anything and then he is sure to get it. - May 5, 1923
A president should hold office six years, with no re-election. Stop this thing of a president having to lower his dignity and go trooping around asking for votes to keep him there another term. Six years give him time to do something. . . . Then pay the man when he goes out one-half of his salary for life. - November 6, 1932
POLITICS
Politics is the only sporting events in the world where they don’t pay off for second money; a man to run second in any other event in the world it’s an honor. But any time he runs second for President it’s not an honor; it’s a pity. - October 29, 1927
There is no inducement that would make me foolish enough to ever run for political office. I want to be on the outside where I can be friends and joke about all of them, even the President. As long as it is all right with him, why my conscience is clear. - February 2, 1928
I tell you Folks, all Politics is Apple Sauce. – December 31, 1922
But, after all, there is very little dignity, very little sportsmanship, or very little anything in politics, only “get the job and hold it.” – November 3, 1932
Now when you admit that you can live without depending on politics, you lose right there the support of all politicians, For if there is one thing that a politician hates worse than a recount, its somebody that is not in their business. - May 31, 1928
As a man is known by the company he keeps, I will show you that now that you have entered Politics that you will be mixed up with more Bunk than you ever thought existed. - August 9, 1928
Business rises above politics in this country. – April 21, 1935
But I must get back from these political parties and get back to civilization, for there’s nothing in common between politics and civilization. – April 14, 1935
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail, they are always yapping about “public service.” It’s public jobs that they are looking for. - November 11, 1928
I love a dog, he does nothing for political reasons. - December 3, 1933
I don’t belong to any organized political faith. I am a Democrat. - April, 1933
Now which is the narrowest, religious intolerance or political intolerance? – April 20, 1927
If we could just send the same bunch of men to Washington for the good of the nation, and not for political reasons, we could have the most perfect government in the world. – June 8, 1924
Had a great night last night. There was static on the radio and you couldn’t hear a single political speech. – September 23, 1932
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still
survived shows we are a super-nation. - November 1, 1932
Politicians amuse more people than they interest. - August 22, 1932
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. - July 15, 1923
Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve. But we just can’t find one politician in a million with backbone. - February 18, 1929
Politics is a great character builder. You have to take a referendum to see what your convictions are for that day. - May 29, 1930
Everything is changing in America. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be visa versa. - November 22, 1932
But a politician is just like a pickpocket; it’s almost impossible to get one to reform. - March 25, 1923
BUSINESS AND WALL STREET
Even experts don’t know what the weather will do. Even millionaires don’t know what Wall Street will do. – September 6, 1933
I tell ’em that this Country is bigger than Wall Street, and if they don’t believe it, I show ’em the map. - December 1, 1929
Let this country get hungry and they are going to eat, no matter what happens to budgets, income taxes or Wall Street values. Washington mustn’t forget who rules when it comes to a showdown. - January 6, 1931
Why play Wall Street and die young when you can play cowboy and never die?” –July 10, 1931
The Republicans have always been the party of big business, and the Democrats of small business, so you just take your pick. The Democrats had their eye on a dime, and the Republicans on a dollar. - April 22, 1928
Big business sure got big, but it got big by selling its stock and not by selling its products." - November 27, 1932
Everybody nowadays is suggesting ways of getting prosperous on somebody else’s money. - February 17, 1931
Everybody likes to make a dollar his way, but if he finds he is not allowed to make it his way, why he is not going to overlook the chance of making it your way. - December 15, 1933
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS
The Republicans mopped up, the Democrats gummed up, and I will now try and sum up. Things are terrible dull now. We won’t have any more comedy until Congress meets. - November 16, 1924
Both parties have their good and bad times, only they have them at different times. They are good when they are out, and each bad when they are in. - May 1, 1926
You know it takes nerve to be a Democrat. But it takes money to be a Republican. - February 10, 1929
The Democrats take the whole thing as a joke and the Republicans take it serious, but run it like a joke. - September 25. 1932
The Republicans want a man that will lend dignity to the office, and the Democrats want a man that will lend some money. - July 11, 1930
There ain’t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket. - November 8, 1934
The more education he gets the less apt he is to be a Democrat, and if he is very highly educated he will see the Apple Sauce in both parties. - March 30, 1929
None of them from any party are going to purposely ruin the country. They will all do the best they can. - July 8, 1928
Notice to Democrats – Get a policy and stick to it, even if it’s wrong. - April 21, 1926
A Democrat is naturally windier than a Republican, He is out of office more and he has more time to think up things to say. - Sept 14, 1928
Every year it gets harder and harder to tell the difference between a Republican and a Democrat. – August 6, 1932
The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. - February 27, 1931
Be a Republican and sooner or later you will be a Postmaster. - April 12, 1925
ELECTIONS
No matter what government or party is in, if you have your election during the hard times they will throw ’em out on their ears. –October 28, 1931
Cheer up. Let’s all be friends again. One of the evils of democracy is you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not. – November 8, 1932
When the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one. – November 8, 1932
There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown. – November 8, 1932
Our public men do nothing but high dive. They climb up the ladder on promises, just before the election, then dive off after they are elected. – October 1, 1932
If lawmakers were elected for life I believe they would do better. A man’s thoughts are naturally on his next term, more than on his country. – June 8, 1924
ON LIFE
Now rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth. – March 9, 1924
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. - August 31, 1924
It is human nature for a man to look out for himself. – April 27, 1924
Nothing makes a man broad-minded like adversity. - May 5, 1933
History makes itself, and the statesmen just drag along. - July 14, 1933
If we only stopped to realize that it is really after all the little things that count, why, we would be a wiser and more contented race. - November 18, 1923
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. - November 18 , 1923
It takes a long time to find out how wrong you are sometimes. - August 8, 1933
Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up. - August 28, 1933
We ain’t getting anywhere, but we are having lots of fun thinking we are. - October 2, 1930
But it’s only the inspiration of those who die that make those who live realize what constitutes a useful life. - March 7, 1933
No man is great if he thinks he is. - March 1, 1929
You never saw a good horse grow where a good man didn’t grow. - April 6, 1932
You got to sorter give and take in this old world. We can get mighty rich, but if we haven’t got any friends, we will find we are poorer than anybody. - June 1, 1930
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. - Illiterate Digest, 1924
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